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Your Native Tongue

21-02-2024

Years ago when I was teaching a leadership seminar for a large multinational, the president of the European division came to speak to this group of 40 managers who came from about ten countries. His introduction included the fact that he spoke seven languages fluently. After a greeting and a …

Verbal Violence: Creating a New Normal

28-06-2022

One day, while waiting at the airport for a flight home, I watched an older fellow tear into a gate agent for not putting him and his wife on the next plane (it had been overbooked). At first, the airline employee maintained her composure, but after being verbally attacked for what seemed like …

Q&A – Feasting with Unruly Relatives

23-06-2022

QUESTION Dear Joseph, With the holidays quickly approaching, I have found myself caught in a sucker’s choice with my family. My wife and I have made it a tradition to travel to my parents’ home seven hours away for Thanksgiving. This year, my parents informed me that my sister will also …

Q&A – Responding to False Accusations

23-06-2022

QUESTION Dear Al, One of my coworkers said I didn’t involve him in a decision I made, but I did. I told him I relayed his input—he is the expert in this area—to another person, as he asked me to do. He said I made the decision to meet with this person without inviting him. When I try to …

Q&A – How to Be on the Receiving End of a Crucial Conversation

23-06-2022

QUESTION Dear Emily, I’ve gained a lot from using crucial conversations skills in my life, but always as the initiator. What I feel less skilled at is being on the receiving end of criticism. My last relationship ended partly because my partner and I could not come to an agreement about my …

Q&A – Being At Odds with Your Spouse

23-06-2022

QUESTION Dear Emily, Much of what is taught about crucial skills seems to work if both people have similar mindsets toward certain principles in life. But when two people are at odds, how can there be any resolution? My wife and I are not retired, but as we have been discussing how to allocate …

Q&A – Are You Being Passive-Aggressive?

23-06-2022

QUESTION Dear Steve, I recently took the Crucial Conversations course and learned about the silence-dialogue-violence spectrum. I believe my tendency is to go to silence at work, but violence at home. I’ve wondered why I react differently in these two situations. I speculated that perhaps the…

Q&A – If At First You Don’t Succeed

23-06-2022

QUESTION Dear Joseph, I work very closely with someone who I really like and respect. I have one concern about how he tends to rely on me to deal with all criticisms directed at our shared projects. I have tried bringing up the issue and holding the crucial conversation about it, but it didn’…